Psychology Today

Defining jealous is almost impossible, however all of us have experienced it at some point in life. Many of perceive jealousy as a wholly negative emotion. But recent studies have proven quiet the opposite.
In fact jealousy can actually improve relationships if dealt with in the right way.

Psychology Today has addressed this complex and common emotion in their August issue.

Those in the grip of jealousy typically blame the discomfort on a partner for bestowing attention on others. But there are huge individual difference in the propensity of jealousy, and there is emerging evidence that elements of personality influence some of them. Those who are most insecure, in face, may be most unrealistic in perceiving threats and making accusations. But this same view of jealousy also suggests that the emotion need not be unleashed on a destructive path; it can instead serve a highly constructive purpose-as a valuable signal to look within and repair one’s own sense of self.

Jealousy consists of the emotions everyone hopes never to experience in a lifetime; from abandonment, to betrayal and everything else in between. Not to mention this one little emotion disables one’s ability to think logically, by disrupting cognitive processes.

According to University of Texas psychologist, David Buss, jealousy is a necessary emotion, a potential deterrent to infidelity that arises in both men and women when a threat materializes to intimate relationships. What is at stake is the survival of our most valued relationships and thus the future of our children-which is to say, the species.

It does not take a Ph.D in psychology to know that men and women experience jealousy differently, but the question that I am always asking, is why?

MEN and Jealousy

The treat of sexual infidelity that most stirs jealousy in men. The burden of manhood is uncertainty of paternity; jealousy serves to keep a mate from straying, upping a man’s confidence that he is the genetic father of his partner’s children. Jealousy arose to keep him from the reproductive dead-end of investing his finite resources in raising some other man’s children.

WOMEN and Jealousy

Women respond most to the possible loss of love to a rival female, away of protecting a partner’s needed commitment to home and kinds.

It is obvious the jealousy was more useful to our ancestors than it is to the modern day couple. There is a growing rate of women today who have no desire for children much less a committed relationship.

The lesson to be learned is that one should look at the facts objectively before starting out on a rampage. Most of the time it is one’s own insecurities that ignite the jealous rage!

Read the full article here at, Psychology Today