I Remember

When I see this picture I rejoice because I remember the good.

The laughs we shared on our walk to the beach.

I remember how Austin and I were a little overdressed for an LA winter day.

I remember being present, content, and full of life. 💕

But I can’t help but think….

Some see me now but don’t know my struggle.

Yes, I was fit growing up and through most of college/my 20’s.

In grad school I gained a lot of weight due to long days, poor nutrition, binge drinking, and not working out.

I was able to lose most of it when I adopted strict pescatarian (diary free) and started doing hours of cardio every week.

But, once I became a jury consultant all the weight came back.

Mostly because I was starving myself, 1000-1200 calories a day, but I also lacked nutrients 🙈.

I am telling you all of this because as I look back I remember feeling completely uncomfortable.

I see pictures and I can’t believe that was me.

I remember vacations where I would fight with Austin simply because my clothes didn’t fit or he wanted a picture but I was too self-conscious.
I remember not being able to snowboard with all of my friends. My clothes were too tight and I wasn’t able to get up easily when I fell. I cried because it was clear I was the athlete I thought I was. 🏂
I remember not wanting to take pictures on our honeymoon in Aruba because I felt uncomfortable. 🦜

I hid it well but I struggled.

Now, I wonder where I would be if I didn’t say yes.

I would be stuck in a job a hate, while prestigious, it does little to positively impact the world.
I would still be traveling but too ashamed to take a picture with my husband.
I would be frustrated every time I had to get dressed.
I would be unmotivated to go to the gym because I wasn’t seeing results.

My heart hurts for that version of myself. 💔

I wish someone would have poured love and life into me then, but regrets don’t change reality.

I know it works. I am proof; the scientific studies are proof. The thousands of other consumers are proof.

I share this nutrition because it changes lives, physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially.

I’m not saying network marketing is the best, I’m saying its better; HOWEVER, I am saying this nutrition is the best.

You can continue to doubt what I am doing and struggle on your own, Sis, or you can take a leap of faith towards a better, more authentic life.

The choice is yours. I just wanted to let you know I remember all those feelings.

My inbox is always open. 💌

Featured image by Lopez Robin on Unsplash