Lessons in Grief

As I moved through the grief of losing a best friend and life long fur baby within months last year I learned few things. I want to share these lessons in grief, maybe they can help you.

1-Grief is not a process. I know as humans we love to simplify emotions, we love to break things down so we can check them off. But the reality is, grief is not a check list nor linear. We do not actually ever get over the loss of a loved one, we simply learn how to live without them.

2-I know we each cope with loss differently; but I learned the hard way, it is easy to get stuck in the painful, gut wrenching cycle. Because in this cycle it feels safer to cry, there is a reason to not show up for yourself, or perhaps feel nothing at all. Do not get me wrong, you are allowed to feel whatever emotion for however long, but make sure it is an emotion and not a choice to stay stuck.

3-Lastly, the more I speak of those I have lost the happier I am. For a months I held on to the guilt of moving on too soon and the fear I would forget about them. I feel that weight lifted when I speak of them. When I recall memories of how they impacted my life, the times they made me smile and belly laugh. I realized when I speak of them I keep their memories alive; and thus, I can never forget.

I have hesitated to make this post for a few weeks now, even though I touched on number three in an IG story. However, today it was on my heart to share. As I sat down to write out my thoughts I moved some notes around and saw this quote, 

“We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” – Brene Brown 

If you too are grieving, know you are not alone. Remember with great love comes great pain- it is a paradox of life. 🤍J